Time to be open and vulnerable. I’m four months into my nine-month payment plan for my coaching program (which basically means I’m living a no-spend life because the majority of my income goes to payments for the program). We’re also about to move into summer vacation from school, which means I don’t get paid. We…… Continue reading Stewing in circumstances

Recently, I’ve been trying to wrestle/sit with some of my toughest, meanest, ugliest demons. The process is bringing up a lot of difficult feelings for me like sadness, anger, shame, fear, and grief. Sometimes I don’t know if I trust the process. I want the bad feelings to go away so I can return to the…… Continue reading Body hatred and ugly emotions

For me, procrastination happens in three contexts. Self-doubt and perfectionism are reigning high. I fear the attempt won’t match the imagined ideal. The task will be arduous or tedious, or the result is not imminent, so a good degree of patience is involved. The need for patience, mixed with difficulty and tedium, does not lead…… Continue reading Procrastination and its discontents

Striving for perfection separated me from myself. Anne Lamott offers some really powerful thinking about the effects of perfectionism on the self: “It will keep you very scared and restless your entire life if you do not awaken, and fight back, and if you’re an artist, it will destroy you.” “Oh my God, what if you wake…… Continue reading Wonderfully imperfect

I sensed that I was fighting against myself because once the hate and anger and self-loathing went away, I’d be forced to confront the raw, unedited me. I was afraid. What if I didn’t like her? What if other people didn’t like her? Without hate and anger, would there just be pain? Well, yes. There…… Continue reading Working against the original impulse

Or, Everyday Brilliance, Childhood, and a Holy Yes. At night, I read what you might call personal development or self-help books. Maybe they are spiritual books. Currently, when I first crawl underneath the sheets and prop my pillows up, what I’m doggedly keeping my eyes open for is my third Brené Brown book, Rising Strong. I…… Continue reading Memoirs in the morning

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the art of listening well. When I think back over all my past and current relationships–friendships and romantic–the closest and deepest were the ones in which both parties were able, more often than not, to put aside their own agendas and listen to the other. Friendships and…… Continue reading Listen well